My son was about eleven years old when he became a more adventurous eater. He started to trust me in making new things for him. When that happened, my daughter was seven years old and NOT ready to be more adventurous. She liked just a few things.
What to do? I had options:
- Become a short order cook and make her something different for every meal.
- Always cook foods that she likes, for everyone.
- Cook new things anyway and fight with her about it, forcing her to spend hours in front of a plate of cold food, miserable, ending in a battle of wills that I wasn’t sure I could win.
- Think of something new.
Introducing “The Cheerio Option”
How it works:
- I make dinner for all of us.
- She asks what we’re having.
- She can choose: have what we’re having OR make herself a bowl of Multigrain Cheerios.
- She eats a reasonable meal, a fight is avoided, and she won’t want to eat junk foods later.
I quickly realized that I had to check my feelings in order for this to work. It’s not that she doesn’t like my cooking, necessarily. There are a lot of reasons a person might choose a simple meal. They’re not that hungry. Their tummy is a little upset. They had a big lunch or an afternoon birthday party. They’re not feeling like trying something new. Don’t you wish you could choose a simple meal sometimes? I do. Did you ever live in a dorm with a dining hall? Remember that amazing feeling when you could choose to eat cereal or toast or a cold sandwich for any meal, and nobody would hound you about it?
I figured, if she was eating a healthy cereal with milk for dinner two or three times a week, that’s okay. And certainly better than (1) not eating anything or (2) fighting frequently.
In other words, when she chooses Cheerios over the meal I worked to prepare, I have to choose not to be hurt or offended. Beyond a request to “try a little bit” before choosing, there’s no pleading or negotiating. It’s her choice.
Why just Cheerios?
It could be anything, of course. We happen to keep Multigrain Cheerios on hand all the time, and I know she likes them. It could be something else for you (a protein bar, a sandwich, a different cereal, whatever). But make it something your child can prepare on their own, and make it simple. One or two options only.
That sounds boring.
Yep. My hope is that, knowing she only has this one other boring option, she might choose to try something new sometimes. We’ve modified the plan with this in mind. She can try a very small serving of what we’re having and then choose The Cheerio Option. This helps her step out of her comfort zone without a full commitment. It also lets her test her stubbornness on me without emotion. And I’m okay with that.
Long-term benefits
The Cheerio Option has been in place for about six years now, and it still works. She chooses it less often now, but she knows it’s still there. I see several benefits:
- She has a positive view of family meals.
- I have a positive view of family meals.
- She feels empowered to choose.
- She knows that small and simple meals are okay. This will hopefully help her be a healthier adult. (No “Clean Plate Club.”)
- I can cook new things without stress, which benefits the rest of the family.
Try it and let me know how it goes!
